I woke up cold and numb. Smoke and darkness was all around me. It was utter chaos. I could not think. My mind was blank.
I rubbed my eyes and glanced towards the window. It lay wide open.
Had I not closed the window? I remembered bolting it tight, Or did I?

I got up slowly but was soon pushed down to the ground by some invisible force.
I tried again but somehow I could not muster enough strength in my limbs to pull me up.
I tried crawling. The door was just 2 meters ahead.

Once my eyes got accustomed to the darkness, I could see that there was a deep gash on my forearm. I tried to think but my mind wouldn’t boot up. I was lost and confused.
I needed to know what had transpired and why I was on the floor drenched in blood and soot.

A huge dark pile of clothes blocked my way to the door. I reached for it and tried to push it aside but it wouldn’t move. Either my limbs were weak or, that pile belonged to a hundred pound giant who hadn’t done his laundry for a year.

I inched closer. I could see arms and legs clearly now. I pulled the pile towards me. My mind had started functioning a little. It could recognize a mangled dead body. The face was bloody mix of black and crimson. I almost screamed.
I had seen him somewhere. Definitely! But, my mind wouldn’t place him.

As I crawled towards the door, I thought I heard a slight noise outside. I stopped in my tracks.
Smoke had started to clear, leaving me enveloped in pure unadulterated darkness.

My heart beat slowed, my breathing calmed. My eyes tried to pierce through the darkness to find the source of the noise. I could sense something was going to happen.

Slowly, but surely, I clawed my way to the door knob and pulled it open. The door gave a slight creak and opened halfway. There was something on the floor that was blocking it. My hands groped away in the darkness to pull that ’something’ away.

I touched cold metal. I picked it up and felt the cold slender pipe on that object. I touched the metal on the gash on my forearm.
It felt wonderful. The pain had started to ease.
The door was open, and I had pulled myself out of confinement from the dark smoky room.

Bang! Bang!

My limbs dropped and the metal object fell on the floor next to me.
I saw two dark holes on my left shoulder. My mind was slowly drifting back to blank.

"We caught one of the ******* bastards alive!" That was the last thing that I heard that night.

Cheers,
Rosh

Hi friends.

Here is another skit that I have composed. This is inspired by a short skit, by the same name, composed by Angela and Jessica Simmons.

Characters (in order of appearance):

TREE, STAR, CARD, PRESENT, SANTA

Note ~ If the play needs to be used for small kids who may have difficulty memorizing the lines, have a narrator read out their dialogues and let the kids act. You may also increase the number of characters by adding other Christmas icons like Cracker, Cake, Bell, etc.

Narrator: "Good Evening everyone.
Christmas is a season to be happy and to be merry. But do we actually know why we are happy?
I am sure we all do.
We get a break from our daily monotonous routine - No Work, No studies. Good food to eat - cakes, cookies.
We get to meet our relatives and friends. Some of us get to travel to different places during Christmas. And most of us love giving and receiving gifts.
Isn’t it just a wonderful season?
But, are we not forgetting something very important?
Our theme for the skit today evening reflects on the same - ‘What is the reason for the Christmas season?’"

Tree is standing proudly at center stage, fluffing out his branches and singing to himself.

Tree (sings): "O, Christmas Tree! O, Christmas Tree! How lovely are your branches!!"
Tree: "I have the most important job of the season! One look at me and people are reminded that it is Christmas season."

Star enters glamorously:
Star (sings): "I am the radiant star of the night. All of you glow in my bright light!"
Star: Oh Tree, I am going to sit on your top branches this year, and I shall be the main attraction!

Card enters the scene.
Card (sings): "I am the most important one during Christmas, as I wish everyone Merry Christmas"
Card: "Greetings to one and all! I am the main attraction of Christmas. I bring a smile on everyone’s faces."

Present enters grandly.
Present (sings): "I am the joy of the season, kids see me and smile for a reason"
Present: "My dear card. I think you are mistaken. I am the main attraction of the season. It is not you, but me, who brings smile on children’s faces."

Tree: "Wait a minute. Guys! You know I’m the main attraction!"

Star: "But without us, you’d just be a plain old green tree! You need us!"

Santa enters.
Background song : "You better watch out! You better not cry. Better not pout, I am telling why. Santa Claus is coming to town"
Santa (speaks aloud): "Ho ! Ho ! Ho. I am Santa Claus. Even though I am imaginary, somehow, I have become the icon of Christmas.
Children think that I come though the chimney and place gifts under the Christmas tree. But that is not true."
Santa (turning to Tree, Star, Card & Present): "Don’t fight guys! All of you are important"
Santa (addressing Tree): "Tree, you represent everlasting life because your leaves are green all round the year."
Santa (addressing Star) : "Star, you stand for the great light that led the wise men to Jesus."
Santa (turning to Card): "Dear Card, you share the joy and cheer of the season to all the people around the world."
Santa (finally adressing Present): "And Present, you are not left out. You represent God’s gift to the world - the greatest gift of all!"

Santa (addressing the audience): "Having said all that, let us not forget the actual reason of the season. He is the true gift of the season and the true star of the day. He is the Prince of Peace and the Lord of Lords. It is because of him, and through him, that we receive eternal life. So let’s glorify his name and may baby Jesus be born in each one of our hearts."

Nativity scene can be acted out here. Mary(with baby Jesus), Joseph and few shepherds.

Everyone sings

O come, all ye faithful,
Joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem;
Come and behold him,
Born the King of angels;
O come, let us adore him,
O come, let us adore him,
O Come, let us adore him, Christ the Lord.

Everyone sings ‘We wish you a Merry Christmas!"

Narrator: "I take this opportunity to thank each one of us who have contibuted to the skit. Thank you Lord for guiding us and helping us perform the skit. Thank you children for your wonderful performance. Thank you teachers for inspiring the children and leading the way. And thank you all for being such a wonderful audience. We hope that this Christmas be an enjoyable experience for each one of us. Let us all seek Jesus and invite him into our hearts and our lives.

Cheers
Rosh

The following skit teaches (at least thats what the author intends!) the kids the importance of Bible, Sunday School and Christmas. 

This has been inspired by/loosely based on a short skit "Not What I Wanted"

Duration: (5-10 minutes. The number of actors and the dialogues can be refined further to narrow or broaden the duration)

Narrator: It’ a cold winter morning in a small city called Mysore. Three kids walk along the footpath, as they come upon two brothers, Jerome and Jeffrey, playing outside.

Remo: “Hey Jerome! Hey Jeff! Are you both not coming to Sunday School today?”

Jeffrey: “Hello friends. I got this ball as a Christmas present. It is so good. See how high it bounces. Do you guys want to play with me?”

Jerome (flaunting his new walkman): “And papa bought me this walkman. I can hear songs all day long. I had wanted it for so long. What did you all get for Christmas?”

Frank: “Hmm. Come let’s walk. We can discuss this while on our way to the church?”

Narrator: Jeffrey seems reluctant as he is happier playing with the ball and Jerome continues to listen to his walkman. Their Sunday School teacher, Ninu, drives by in her car but stops when she sees the kids. She gets down and walks towards the children.

Ninu: “Good Morning children. Come, Hop on! We are getting late.”

Susan: “But, chechi, Jeffrey and Jerome are not coming as they are playing with their new gifts”

Ninu (addressing Jerome): “Is that your Christmas present, Jerome?”

Jerome: “Yes chechi. Isn’t it nice?”

Ninu: “Do you know children?” Ninu pauses to get attention from the kids.
“When I was 8 years old, I got the best present in world”

Frank: “What was it chechi? Was it a video game? My parents gifted me one last Christmas. It was so good.”

Susan: “No it must be a nice dress. My aunty presented me a beautiful frock when she came from USA to clelebrate Christmas with us. It was the best present I ever got.”

Remo: “My grandparents have bought me a guitar this time for Christmas and my Dad has enrolled me for Guitar Lessons from Wilson uncle. They say he is the best guitarist in the world. Wonderful gift! Isn’t it? Did you also get a musical instrument, chechi?”

Jeffrey: “I like chocolates and cakes. Last Christmas papa had bought me lots of chocolates, and mummy had baked a very delicious cake. Was your gift also – chocolates, Chechi?”

Ninu: “No dear. It is none of these. My special gift was a Bible!”

Jerome: “But, how can Bible be the best gift?”

Ninu: “The Bible my parents gifted me is my best gift ever. In fact it’s a gift that keeps on giving away more gifts every day.”

Narrator: All the children are puzzled. What gift can produce? And that too, everyday!

Susan: “How is that possible chechi? What does Bible give you everyday?”

Ninu: “I read the Bible every day. If fills me with love, joy, peace and wisdom. The stories are real and so exciting; you’ll never get bored of reading them. And when you start understanding the stories, you learn how to build an everlasting relationship with God. Bible also teaches us the importance of the Christmas. Christmas is not about the worldly gifts that we receive each year, but it is about God’s gift to us - Jesus. Yes! Jesus, our saviour was born on Christmas day."

Jeffrey: “Chechi, will you tell me more about Jesus? I want to listen to his stories.”

Jerome: “Me too! I will ask my friends also to attend Sunday School regularly.”

Ninu: “Good choice kids! Is everyone ready to go to church?”

Kids (unanimously) : “Yes Chechi”

Ninu: “So hop on! We shall learn more about Christmas today. Do you all remember the carol - ‘Hark the herald angels’ that we all sung on Christmas day? Let’s sing together.”

Everybody sings - Hark the herald angels (The choir joins too) as the car drives away.

Narrator: The children learnt a very important lesson that day. Christmas is not about presents/gift that they get each year from their friends and family. It is a day to remember the most precious gift to the world from our heavenly father. Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus who, by his death on the cross, cleansed us all from sin.
Thanks to Jerome, the next week there were 2 new children who joined the Sunday School. They also wanted to hear about Jesus’ story and the miracles he performed.

The End.

Please feel free to use the contents for non-profit purposes provided you give a link back to this site. In case you use this for any Sunday School plays, and find it useful/not useful, please give an honest feedback on it so that I may refine the contents.

Thanks.
Rosh

Pre-travel:

1. Read about the UK culture. You may find some details here.
Note ~ If you have been to the US, you will definitely find UK to be poles apart.

2. Immigration check at Heathrow airport is a tedious affair.
Make sure that you get a chest x-ray done prior to the travel. In India, you can get it done for 200-500 rupees.
You will need to present it at Heathrow immigration. UK is reporting an increase in Tuberculosis cases, and thus the scan. There is a provision to get it done at the airport too, but it will needlessly cause lot of delay and embarrasment after a long haul flight.
‘Strutting around, bare-chested in extreme cold for half an hour’ - If this sounds exciting to you then you may land in UK without the X-Ray.

3. Make sure that you have made arrangements for stay prior to your travel. You will need to quote the address during immigration.

Note ~ A short duration of stay could be easily arranged at a bed and breakfast.
This is similar to a paying guest facility in India. The charges may depending on the duration of stay, locality, the proximity to rail/tube and bus stations, single/twin sharing and season.
But these are, any day, much cheaper than booking a hotel room.

4. Note down the numbers of travellers cheques and credit cards. In case of any loss/theft, please contact the Bank(or relevant authority)

5. Please note that most airline carriers place a luggage restriction of 23 kgs while travelling from India to UK. If you are a student, you may get additional baggage allowance. ‘Pack judiciously’ is the mantra.
Let’s make a list of items that you might want to carry from India.

• Formal clothes - Most of the time you would be in formals. So carry as many as you might need. Apparel is expensive in UK. Best time to shop would be during January when almost all the shops would hold clearance sales.
• Woolen - It will be pretty cold in UK. Some areas have snowfall too during winter. Carry good warm clothes. If you are in Bangalore, Eastern Stores on Commercial Street have a large stock of woolen.
  A thick trench coat or a thermal jacket is a good buy. You may want to carry a good pair of woolen/leather gloves, thermal inners, muffler and a woolen skull cap.
• Kitchen stuff - Plan to carry some plates, pans, and some basic cutlery. A good pressure cooker may be a good buy. Please note that you cannot carry knives in your cabin bag.
• Cosmetics - If you plan to use a particular brand, please carry a good load of it. You may not find the same brand there.
• Medicines - Please carry few strips of Crocin, painkillers, antibiotics, digestive tablets and other general medicines that you might need. In UK, you have to have a prescription to buy most of the drugs.
  For cold and flu, you may get OTC medicines at any drugstore. You may also want to carry a pain relief spray, dettol, band-aids, cotton etc.
• Sewing needle - Carry few sewing needles and some colored yarn (apart from the common black and white) that you anticipate need for. Comes in handy at times (Most commonly to sew the buttons that come off your favourite shirt).
• Shoe-Fix - Carry a tube of all purpose strong adhesive or a shoe-fix. You may not find cobblers on the street as you would do in India.
  In case your sole comes off, you may use the adhesive to fix it or buy a new shoe. It is your choice.

6. Dont forget to arrange and keep all your original certicicates. Carry it in your cabin baggage. Have an additional copy in each of your check-in baggage.

7. Another thing to note is that flights to UK allow only 1 cabin bag per person. Your handbag, or for that matter even your camera bag is considered one bag.
So if you want to carry your Laptop, camera, certiciates, etc all on board; buy the largest allowable cabin bag. Remember to check the dimensions for the carrier of your choice.
Also note that there is an upper limit on the weight of the bag too. It is somewhere between 6-9 kgs, depending on your airline carrier.

8. It is also wise to carry some spices and masala powders that you might need. Till you find an Indian store (which you will find aplenty), these will come in handy.

On arrival:

1. Go through immigration check. Be polite and DO NOT jump queue.

2. Avail a Black Cab from the Airport to your Hotel. Note ~ Though it seems a fun way to travel, it will be heavy on your budget. If you have a friend, or a relative in UK, ask them to book a cab for you.
There are many other cab services in UK and they will be easier on your budget. You may also book online here.

3. Open a bank account. You would need another identification apart from your Passport. This is very important because you might need it while renting a house.

4. Coming to renting a house, there a various options. The tedious one being - browse through various websites(http://www.loot.com/, http://london.craigslist.co.uk/ etc).
Generally people prefer to approach a Letting agency. One has to pay for availing their services. The fee can be anywhere from 150 pounds to 500 pounds.
Most houses are let in multiples of 6 months. Renting a house usually requires some proof of employment which can be easily obtained from the employer.
One might also need to deposit some advance with the landlord.
The lease agreement must clearly state the tenure, terms of payment, renewal clauses, and onus on payment of Council tax, water, gas and other charges.
The letting agent will also mention on the agreement the condition of the house along with a list of amenities provided at the time of checking into the house. Cost of housing varies based on type (studio, i bed room, 2 bed room, etc.), furnishings provided, and to a certain extent on proximity to railway stations and high streets.
Note ~ Do not rent council houses/ or in the vicinity of council houses. These are prone to theft and violence.

5. To avail free healthcare services in UK, one needs to register for NHS. Find the nearest GP here.Fix an appointment and get yourself and your dependants registered.

More tips on what to buy as soon as you land in UK, in the next post…

Cheers,
Rosh

Start by understanding the meaning of temptation.

What is temptation?
The dictionary defines temptation as:

• the desire to have or do something that you know you should avoid
• something that seduces or has the quality to seduce

Ask the kids if they have seen how people bait fish or lay mouse traps?

The core idea behind both these acts is temptation. We tempt/lure the fish using worms on a hook. Or, similarly entice a mouse into a trap using cheese.
Both the fish and the mouse know that it might be a bait/trap, but still they fail to resist the temptation and thus get caught.

There will be many times in life when we will be tempted. If we get tempted, surely it will cause us failure in our lives.
So we have to understand very well what temptation is.
Also we need to know who the tempter is.

Children, do you know who the tempter is? He is Satan - the devil. Long time ago he tried to tempt Jesus too.
Did you know that? Do you want to hear the story?

The first temptation:

Reference: Matthew 4:2-3

"And after He had fasted 40 days and 40 nights He then became hungry.
And the tempter came and said to Him, "If you are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread."

Ask the children if they have ever faced extreme hunger. Ask them how it feels. Listen to their experiences.

Jesus had not eaten anything for 40 days and 40 nights. So he was very hungry and weak.
That’s when Satan came up to him and said - "If you are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread."

Jesus is God’s beloved son. So he has an authority over all things. He has the power to miraculously make the stone into bread.

Tell the kids briefly about the first miracle performed by Jesus where he turned water into wine. One may also narrate how he fed the hungry five thousand men with few loaves and fishes.

So we know Jesus had the power to perform miracles. As we know every temptation has a trap. The trap here was not in performing the miracle, but it was challenging the authority of God and his Son.
The devil very cunningly tried to place a doubt in the mind of Jesus by saying - "If you are the Son of God…"

Jesus knew he was being tempted, so he replies:

"It is written, ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’" - Matthew 4:4

We can find answers to all our troubles, all our problems in the Bible. That’s why our parents always tell us to read the Bible every day.
Similarly Jesus also found the answer to his temptation in the Bible. Jesus responds with a passage from Deuteronomy 8:3.

"He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know,
that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the LORD ."

In that passage, Moses reminded the Israelites that God humbled them in the wilderness when He provided manna from heaven.

The Satan was unhappy that Jesus was able to resist the first temptation, so he presented before Jesus another temptation.

The second temptation:

Reference: Matthew 4:5-6

"Then the devil took Him into the holy city; and he had Him stand on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, "If you are the Son of God throw yourself down. For it is written, ‘He will give His angels charge concerning you,’ and, ‘On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone."

Devil was very cunning, so he quotes the Bible and asks Jesus to jump from the cliff because in the Bible it is written that God will save everyone who submits to him from all troubles.
Jesus understood that Satan wanted him to test his Father which is wrong. He had planned to make Jesus commit the sin of over-confidence.
We should submit ourselves to God’s loving kindness and have utmost faith in him, but doing something foolish and expecting God to help is not faith. It is only inviting trouble for us.
So we should not continue to sin and say that anyways God will forgive me. This is not the right approach to life.
If we have sinned, we should repent. And then we should not commit the sin again.

Nor coming back to the story,

Jesus answers by quoting Deuteronomy 6:16.

"On the other hand it is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’" - Matthew 4:7

Address the children and tell them how wonderful the Bible is. Jesus is able to resist Satan’s temptation because he knew what the Bible scriptures actually meant.
Tell them that they should read the Bible every day, and then ask their parents/Sunday School teachers if they have any questions on it.

Satan was not going to leave easily. He wanted to test Jesus’ resolve one more time.

The third temptation:

Reference: Matthew 4:5-6

"Again, the devil took Him to a very high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world, and their glory. And he said to Him, "All these things will I give you if you fall down and worship me."

There will be many times in our lives when we also are placed in the same position as Jesus was then.
The devil might tell us many things like,

• If you cheat in the exam you can be the topper in your class or,
• If bully your classmates, then everyone will be afraid of you and you can be the strongest person in your class or,
• If you push the person in front of you, you can get ahead in the queue.

The list is endless.

Jesus is tempted by Satan who promises him all the kingdoms of the world, if Jesus bowed before him.

Ask the children, if they remember what is the first commandment. Ask them to repeat after you -

"You shall have no other gods before Me" (Exodus 20:3)

Had Jesus bowed down before Satan, then it would have been equivalent to accepting Satan as God . He would have broken God’s first commandment.
But again, the Bible came to Jesus’s rescue.

Jesus says :

"Begone, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only." (Matthew 4:10)

This again is a reference from Deuteronomy 6:13.

"You shall fear only the LORD your God; and you shall worship Him and swear by His name."

So we see that Jesus found all answers to his problems (temptations) in the Bible. The devil could not win because Jesus was aware of the true meaning of contents of the Bible.
We should all learn to identify the temptations that we face, and then turn to God, our saviour, to help resist it.

Teach the chilren a small song or a verse. You may use the following (to be sung on the tunes of "If you’re happy and you know it"):

If you’re tempted and you know it, read the Bible!
Chorus - BIBLE
If you’re tempted and you know it, read the Bible!
Chorus - BIBLE
If you’re tempted and you know ,
Bible will your answer show.
If you’re tempted and you know it, read the Bible!

If the Devil come and tempts you, Run to God!
Chorus - Run to God!
If the Devil come and tempts you, Run to God!
Chorus - Run to God!
If the Devil comes and tempts,
I know rightly whom to run
If the Devil comes and tempts, I’ll run to God!

Ask one of the kids to lead the prayer.
"Thank you Lord, Father Almighty. Thank you for helping us resist all the temptation that we face in our lives.
Thank you for providing the Bible for us to read, understand, and to find answers to all our problems.
We submit ourselves, our family, friends and all our belongings to you - for your unending love, care and protection.
We pray for all the people who have been victims of various temptations. We pray that you give them the strength to overcome all failures and resist further temptation in their lives.
Amen."

Cheers,
Rosh

Act - 2 (Scene 1 to 4)

Premise: The second test match at Mohali culminates in a thumping victory for the Indians. Turning point of the match was Dada and Dhoni’s 1st innings partnership and the vital breakthroughs provided by rookie Amit Mishra.

Scene 1:
Celebrations post-victory, Mohali.

India wins.
Dhoni takes one of the stumps and walks towards the dressing room happily. His moment of happiness is rudely cut short by Dada who yanks away the stump from him.

Dada : "Teri to! Maine sau run banaye aur mujhe hi souvenir nahi milega?"(English translation: I have scored a century against the Aussies. I deserve the stump as a souvenir)

Dhoni (with a fake smile and almost whispering): "Abey chod! Yeh mera hai."(English translation: Mate, Leave it! It’s mine)

Dhoni is aware of the millions of people staring at him through their television sets.

Dhoni (to himself): "Aila! Yeh sab to camera pe aa raha hoga. Mujhe captain banna hai to kurbani to deni hi pagedi. Warna people will think, I am selfish." (English translation: The camera is capturing all these moments. In order to be made captain, I should not be shy of little sacrifices)

Millions of hearts melt viewing such a magnanimous gesture (presenting the stump to Dada) by Captain Cool Dhoni.
In a random town, a random girl is busy munching her chips, and gushing out tears of joy.

Camera captures Gary’s glowing white teeth and Chika’s Jack-in-the-Box celebrations.

————————————————————————-

Scene 2:
Team Meeting, Restaurant, Mohali.

Ponting: "We got kicked, stamped and what not on our balls royally! I cannot even feel mine."

Ponting keeps ranting. Team members look at each other and smile.

Tim Nielsen: "My very good friend, Bishen Bedi has agreed to coach our spinners."

Clarke (seemingly annoyed at the suggestion): "Will he render the same services as Greg Chappell did for our batting? Render it useless?"

Tim Nielsen (pretending having not heard the remark): "Spinners, be ready at 16:00 hrs tomorrow."

Silence.

Waiter: "Have you decided the main course?"

————————————————————————-

Scene 3:
Practice ground, Delhi

Bishen Bedi: "Spin is an art which is international. It’s not Indian, or Pakistani, or Australian…
But, East or West, I am the best.. Ha ha ha. So you guys are ready to learn from the Guru?"

Kretjza (excitedly): "Yes. I am ready."

Bedi: "Who are you? I am here only to train the Aussie spinners."

Clarke trudges forward.

Clarke: "He is one of us."

Bedi (sarcastically): "Where is your lead spinner?"

————————————————————————-

Scene 4:
In a dream, Hotel Room.

Tim Nielsen (dressed up as Devil, with red curved horns - more like that of an antelope’s): "Spinners, be ready at 16:00 hrs tomorrow"

White (smiles and says to himself): "Thank God! I can rest tomorrow. I am not a spinner. I am a batsman. Heck, I don’t even consider myself qualified to bowl for the team, Victoria, that I captain."

Ponting (dressed up as an angel, chewing his nails): "No worries mate! You are the best spinner I have on this tour. You are playing Match 3."

White rests on Ponting’s lap, smiling to himself.

————————————————————————-

To be continued…

Cheers,
Rosh

Watching Mithun da spend time with his ICL team, The Royal Bengal Tigers, was really a nostalgic moment.
I remember a time when Mithun da was the most potent force on the television(at least to me). I would be glued to the TV set if it were a Mithun da movie being aired on Doordarshan.
We did not have cable TV back then. Weekends, and especially, Mithun da movies were so eagerly awaited.

I give Mithun da the credit to make to make me cry, for the very first time, watching a movie. I very well remember that it was a movie called - Rukhsat.
Oh! The way Mithun da could emote!

Sample these.

Anger:
"Main hoon jurm se nafrat karne waala, gareebon ke liye chiraag, goondon ke liye jwaala"

Which villain wouldn’t fall to their knees after hearing this?

Love:
"Abbe ajeeb museebat hai!
Saali, aata hai to bolti hai sataata hai,
aata nahi to bolti hai pyaar nahi karta!!
Mausi, teri beti ko samjha kya?!"

Or which heroine wouldn’t fall for his charm?

Mithun da was never ordinary. He was a made of stuff that champions are made of. He had a personality like none other.
He could portray an array of characters, be it Sooraj Truck Driver or Gunmaster G9, with equal élan.
As an actor, followed and revered by many, he believed in sharing and disseminating knowledge through his films.

Take for example:

"Main hoon Do Numri, ek se jyaada, teen se kam".

Which child could ever forget where 2 stood in the number system after hearing this dialogue? I couldn’t.

Or,

"Masterji, tum ne mere thaili dekhi,
thaili ke andar ki baatli dekhi,
baatli ke andar ki sharaab dekhi,
lekin mere andar ki majboori nahi dekhi."

Here he describes the difference between abstract and tangible objects. Which grammar book could give you a better explanation of the same?

Bappi da and Mithun were a combination made for each other, like Fish and Chips or Noodles and Ketchup or Burger and Mayonnaise or Jai and Veeru.
You cannot think of one without thinking of the other.
It was so much fun to watch Mithun da dancing on the soulfully composed, Bappi da special, techno-electronic (or whatever crap you want to call it) beats.

God of Bollywood, or Prabhuji as his fans liked to call him, was never a selfish man.
He liked to give equal screen presence, soul stirring dialogues, and witty and well crafted names to his movie baddies.
A movie that immediately comes to mind is - Gunda. It is such a lyrical cult classic, that had the dialogues been sung, would have made the best musical in the world.
Every villain in this movie got a chance to introduce themselves in the most expressive of ways.

Before reading these dialogues, readers are adviced to prefix - "Mera naam hai <<The villian’s name here>> to enjoy it better.

Lambu Atta: "Deta hoon maut ka chaanta"
Bulla: "Sab karta hoon khullam khulla"
Chutiya( as in Chanakya’s chutiya): "Acche acchon ki khadi karta hoon khatiya"
Pote: "Jo apne baap ke bhi nahi hote"
Ibu Hatela: "Maa meri chudail ki beti, Baap shaitan ka chela, Kyon? Khaayega Kela?"

And girls? Yes! Mithun da movies had hordes of women - young, old, thin, fat. All sorts.
Research proves that over 40% of the girls in Mithun da starrers had to play the challenging role of a friend’s sis(If lucky Prabhuji’s sis) whose modesty would be outraged by a baddy.
This would give Prabhuji a good enough reason to kill them.

As an ardent Mithun da fan, it is very sad to see him in recent movies like Elaan and Heroes.
Prabhuji, it’s an earnest request -"Please make a comeback! Please give us a Gunda-2, a Jallad-2 or a Loha-2.
I don’t want the new generation to miss something as good as you."

Cheers,
Rosh

Act - 1 ( Scene 4 & 5 )

Premise: The first test match at Bangalore ends in a draw. Turning point of the match was Bhajji and Zak’s partnership. Both contributed with strokeful half centuries.

Scene 4:
Hotel room, Bangalore.

Chika (Kris Srikanth): "Well played boys! Bhajji to apna naya batting star hai."(English translation: Bhajji is our new batting star)

Zak sulks in one corner of the room. He feels unappreciated.

Jumbo Kumble: "As I promised, Chika - Boys gave their best."

Dhoni (almost whispering): "We all did! But, did you? Old Man."

The entire team lets out a muffled laughter except Chika who maintains a serious expression on his face, more on the lines of - ‘I am constipated’.
And of course Bhajji, who continues to prefer his age old, well practiced, roll on the floor laughter.

An old Indian locker room saying goes - "Don’t disturb Bhajji when he is rolling on the floor!"

Kumble looks at Dhoni. He knows that its time to hand over the reins to Dhoni.

Gary Kirsten: "Boys, I am happy that you guys played well. This Australian bowling attack does not have any teeth. Next match blast them."

Team unanimously: "Yes coach."

Gary beams and shows his brilliant white teeth.

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Scene 5:
Another room, same hotel, Bangalore

Tim Nielsen(coach): "What the hell happened out there?"

Ponting: "That jerk, The Turbanator; that is what happened. Had it not been for him, we had India on the carpet."

The phone rings - Tring.. Tring.. Tring!

James: "What is happening there? Is it time to ask Warney, McGrath and Kasprowitz for help? They are all in good shape playing for IPL and ICL"

Ponting: "Team will play better the next match, Sir."

Kretjza (almost pleading): "Uncle James, Coach Tim is not allowing me to play in the Test matches. I want to play, please."

James: "It is upto Tim and your Captain, Crazy! They will decide."

Ponting looks sternly at Kretjza because he has dared to speak without asking permission.
Cameron White understands Ponting’s look and smiles to himself.
He knows that now there is no way that Kretjza can get into the team.

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To be continued…

Cheers,
Rosh

Act - 1 ( Scene 3 )

Scene 3:
Bangalore, On the eve of the first test match.

Chika (Kris Srikanth): "I would have loved played tomorrow, but as you see I am not young anymore. But mind-it, Mere paas power hai jo mere square cuts se bhi tez hai. (English translation: I now have power that is sharper than my square cuts). If anyone does not perform well , I will cut you off from the team."

Jumbo Kumble: "Boys will do their best."

Bhajji aka. Turbanator: "Balle! Balle!"

Team enthusiastically: "Jeet jayenge! Jeet jayenge! In chillar aussies se hum jeet jayenge" (English translation: We shall win! We shall win! Against these meagre aussies, we shall win)

Chika: "Silence! Silence! Let’s review their team first. Gary! Please start."

Gary Kirsten(coach): "As you say Cheeka! Let’s start with Matthew Hayden. Guys, your thoughts."

Veeru Sehwag: "Saand hai.. saala saand! Pitch pe aise khada hota hai jaise poori ghaas uski hai." (English translation: He is a bull! He stands on the pitch as if all the grass were only his)

Ganguly dada (jumps from his chair): "Grass! On the pitch? Yaar phir se waat lagegi. Is baar to maine curator se jhagda bhi nahi kiya.” (English translation: This time also we are screwed. I didn’t even fight with the curator this time, then why the grass on the pitch?)

Chika (starts rhyming): "Don’t get scared, dada. Yeh hai mera wada. Pitch pe ghaas rakhne ka curator ka nahi hai iraada. Jo ek do hain, usko bhi karwa doonga main aadha" (English translation: Don’t get scared mate. It is my promise to you that the curator doesnt intend to leave any grass on the pitch. If any blades are remaining on the pitch, I would crop those to half.)

Ganguly dada (jumps from his chair again): "Yipee!"

Gary Kirsten: "Coming back to Matthew Hayden, I suggest that we bowl only wides to him. That way he will not be able to hit the ball."

Jumbo: "Great idea, coach. I bet any Indian coach wouldn’t have come up with such an innovative idea."

Gary beams.

Sachin: "Next in line is Katich. He has done well in the sub-continent. What should we to stop him from scoring?"

Gary Kirsten: "Katich shuffles a lot when he starts off. Dhoni, you just distract him fom behind the stumps. And Zaheer, make sure that you bowl a straight bowl that crashes onto his pads. He will be plumb LBW."

Chika: "Great! Carry on guys. This is amazing stuff. Next is their captain Ponting."

Bhajji: "Usko to aap log mere pe chod do. Neend mai bhi le sakta hoon usko." (English translation: Leave him to me. I can take care of him even in my sleep.)

Ishant (slightly irked): "Praji, Aaapne new nahi suna kya?(English translation: Brother, haven’t you heard?) He is my bunny. I will finish Ponting. You take Hussey."

Gary Kirsten: "Let’s not bother about Hussey. He is Mr. Consistent. Let’s get the others out. Vice captain Clarke is next"

Dhoni: "Yeh to bahut solid batsman hai. Iske haath-pair nahi todh sakte kya match se pehle?" (English translation: He is a solid batsman! Can’t we just break his arms or legs before the match?)

Dravid (a silent spectator till now): "Mahatma has advised - No violence! You need not worry about Clarke. He is not ‘The Wall’. I am. Just give him some time. He will get out himself."

Gary Kirsten: "We are down to the tail now. Watson and Haddin are next."

Jumbo: "But, coach. Watson did very well in the IPL."

Gary Kirsten: "We are playing Test match tomorrow, Dumbo. Err.. sorry Jumbo. He will bowl a few bouncers at us. That’s the only thing he does well. Let’s just sway away from the line of the ball. And, as far as Haddin goes - Everyone knows that he is no Gilchrist."

Chika: "Well said. Ha ha. Now comes the bowlers. I am enjoying this discussion. Let’s talk about Lee, the Aussie bowling spearhead."

Sachin: "Arrey! Yeh to kitna simple hai. Bachcha bhi bata sakta hai. Spearhead ke saamne deewar rakh do. Spearhead takrayega aur choor choor ho jayega. Fir to poora spear hi waste. Sahi hai na?" (English translation: Arrey! It’s so simple. Even a child can answer this. Place ‘The Wall’ in front of the spearhead. Spearhead will hit the wall and disintegrate. Once this happens the spear itself shall be rendered useless. Ain’t I right?)

Gary Kirsten: "Very true. Let’s blunt Lee."

Bhajji (not one to let a PJ go out of hand): "Ab to movie bhi aa jayegi uski Mallika Sherawat ke sath. The Myth - starring Blunt Lee" (English translation: Now he will even release a movie with Mallika Sherawat. The Myth - starring Blunt Lee.)

Veeru Sehwag(lifts Bhajji on his shoulder): "Balle! Balle!"

Gary Kirsten: "Order! Order! We still need to discuss about their other pase bowlers Stuey Clark and Mitchell Johnson."

Zak (Zaheer Khan, itching to speak against a fellow left-armer): "Johnson doesn’t even know to swing a bowl into the right hander. Useless bowler! Look at me. Am I not the best left arm pace bowler in the world."

The entire team lets out a muffled laughter barring Bhajji who prefers to roll on the floor.

To be continued…

Cheers,
Rosh

Act- 1 ( Scene1 & 2)

Premise:
Before the Border - Gavaskar Trophy ‘08 began, everyone hailed Mr. Ponting as Captain Wonder - A captain who could do no wrong… An unflappable captain… Captain of the mighty Australian cricket team.
Ponting had lofty visions of overpowering India on their own soil. He had, at his beck and call, a troop of dedicated soldiers who, he knew as everyone else did, would risk their own lives at his command.

Scene 1:
In a secluded apartment on the outskirts of Sydney.

James (Not Bond but Sutherland obviously): "Go my tigers! Make our nation proud. And, captain - I am counting on you to lead your team well!"

Ponting: "Aye! Aye! Boss."

Team enthusiastically: "Aye! Aye!"

Ponting gives a stern look to his mates, which gets everyone to shut up.

Clarke (2nd in Command): "What about Roy, Sir? Ain’t he done with his fishing? He can hit those mighty sixes and moreover he can easily step on Turbanator’s nerve."

Sound: "Thhpwach! Thhpwach! Thhpwach! Thhpwach!"

Lee boy (strumming his guitar starts to croon): "Somebody’s shooting at us…! I bet it’s the Turbanator. An air rifle in his hands… Doing that bhangra dance…”

Ponting: "Shut up you moron. Stop singing. And by the way, it doesn’t rhyme at all. That ugly wretch! I am going to kill him once and for all."

Ponting jumps of his chair and yanks open the window only to find Roy standing outside frantically waving and gesturing.

Roy: "O Captain. My Captain! It’s me, Roy. Small fish don’t excite me any more! I want to bait sharks - those Indians I mean."

James (straining his neck, and putting his head out of the window): "Well boy! Go fish! Your time ain’t come yet!"

James Sutherland closes the window and pulls down the curtain.

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Scene 2:
Hotel room, Jaipur. Team Meeting.

Greg (Anti-Ganguly) Chappell: "… As I have been saying, irritate those Indians. Get on their nerves. They can handle all Lees and Clarks but not this."

Pointing: "But, this time we are prepared for the Indian tracks. We have two good spinners in our team - McGain and Kretjza"

Greg (looking very confused): "McCain? I thought he was American. Ain’t he too old for this stuff? Why is he here? Is he not contesting US Elections?"

Matty Hayden (looking at captain Ponting): "Permission to speak, Sir!"

Ponting nods.

Matty: "It’s McGain Sir! No McCain. BTW, I am supporting McCain. His deputy, Palin, does look a piece of art. And as you all know; I am such a piece of art myself."

Matty rolls his sleeves up and flexes his muscles proudly.

Greg: "Oh! I see. Where is he?"

Kretjza (aka Crazy): "Permission to speak, Sir!"

Ponting nods again.

Kretjza: "He is in his room watching videos of Warney getting the thrashing of his life by the Indians. He does seem a bit uncomfortable with the idea of bowling against the Indian greats. "

"May I play? Please." Kretjza asks earnestly.

Tim Nielsen (coach) stares at Kretjza with a - ‘Are you crazy or what?’ look.

"O Lord! Please get me to play. I want to play… Please Lord! Pleaseeee" Kretjza prays silently to God.

Little did Kretjza know that God was listening to his prayers. Had he had known, he would have asked for the grand Rolls-Royce that he has always wanted. But, as he prayed for it, he got to play the first tour match.
McGain, the Aussie premier spinner, was ruled out of the series due to a shoulder injury.

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To be continued…

Cheers,
Roshan